Thursday, October 11, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

One of our neighbors came to me with tears in her eyes. "TZ, I need advice."

"No, no, not from me you don't. Please let me get my wife. She actually loves you and will do everything in her power to help you."

I shouted, "Honey! You have a visitor! Please come quick!"

"No, TZ," she said touching my arm with doe eyes. "I need a man's advice."

"Then please get yourself a better man. My neighbor Joe is a pretty good guy. Paul, too, across they way. They are all you'll need. Both are very sensitive. They don't beat their kids too much."

"George and I are having problems."

"George?" I said. "George is easy. Just blow him."

"He said he's tired of a messy house."

"Just blow him."

"He says he's tired of schlepping the kids all over creation for all this travel sports stuff."

"Blow him."

"That I don't stretch his dollars far enough."

"Um hmmm, blow him."

"That I've lost my desire to cook for him."

"Now that is going to require something extra, I think. Sloppy blow job AND swallow."

"Is that really all of your advice?"

"Hey, I told you to go talk to Joe or Paul. My advice is what works for me, not for other people. capiche?"

Helpfully,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something which you'd like to have dinner with." -Anonymous woman



I went to a nice, local restaurant/bar with my girlfriend last night. But the regulars were shouting "pedophile!" and other terrible names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.

It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.



My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's $1! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.

Q. Why do women fake orgasms ?
A. Because they think men care.

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A. The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.