Monday, June 2, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

There seems to be a never-ending stream of people that walk into our office to pitch some service or another. Office equipment guys, cleaning services, shipping companies, etc. Most are decent, hard working folks trying to eke out a living.

But occasionally you get a freak-bag weirdo that causes the girls in the office to get a little jumpy. And like our office manager Satan always says, "It's bad enough we have TZ making us all feel queasy and uneasy we don't need anyone else doing it."

So in walks a scumbag and he can't take his beady, little eyes of our girls.

He got all jittery and pointed, "You two girls are barefoot! Wow, you have nice ears. I love your piercings. This must be a great place to work."

I looked at him and was worried he was going to pull out his shriveled little pecker and start whacking it right there.

"Come on, pal," I said as I led him to the door. He made his pitch while we walked and I told him, "No."

But when I came back in the office I took a good look at all the girls huddled around discussing what a creep he was.

Half of them were in shorts and tank tops with things kind of jiggling around. Something needed to be done for their own good.

"OK, listen up," I said addressing the office. "We need a dress code to protect you from the likes of Captain Pound-My-Boloney who was just here. From now on all you women must walk into my office every morning and show me what you're wearing. If I get an erection then you can't wear that outfit anymore."

I began pointing at a few of them, "OK, you, you, you, and you cannot wear those outfits to work anymore. The rest of you are ok. You didn't even get my foreskin quivering."

Protectively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."

The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass."



Two drunks are in a tavern sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks. One gets a curious look on his face and asks, "Hey, Pete, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?"

"Yep," Pete replies. "I been married to one for 15 years."



A gang-banger and his girlfriend were walking downtown one night when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window. "Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.

"No problem, baby," the gang-banger said, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring.

A few blocks later, his girlfriend was admiring a black leather jacket in another shop window. "What I'd give to own that!" she said.

"Sure thing," the gang-banger said, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the coat.

Finally, turning for home, they pass a Mercedes car dealership. "Boy, I'd do anything for one of those!" she said to her boyfriend.

"Damn, baby!" the gangster cried. "Do you think I'm made of bricks or something!"