Thursday, December 31, 2009
Greetings Laff Lovers,
It was New Year's Eve and my in-laws were up from the bayou.
We were all in the family room watching TV when I leaned
into my wife's ear and whispered, "Would you like me to take
everyone out breakfast in the morning?"
"Oh, that would be wonderful," she said clearly excited.
Her entire family looked at us because they could only hear
her response and not my question.
"Then maybe I can take all the little ones to a movie?"
"Sounds fantastic!" she said genuinely surprised.
Curious, they now stared at us a while.
"Then, how about I fire up the grill for dinner and make
some steaks?"
"Oh, Baby, yes, please I would love that!"
Now they were glaring at us.
I got up and looked each one in the eye, "You gotta love
anal sex on New Year's."
Pokingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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This guy's wife had recently died and she was being buried.
The man was sobbing and was being consoled by his friends.
"Don't worry, Pal, in time you will meet a beautiful lady
who will make you happy."
"I know, I know," he replied, "But what am I gonna do
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Each morning Jake would drive down Sunset Blvd. on his way
to work. For the past year a pretty hooker standing on the
corner of Sunset gave him the eye as he passed. Of late, she
took to showing him parts of what he would get if he stopped
to pick her up. Jake was a good husband and family man and
didn't want to cheat on his wife. However, lately the hooker
was looking so tempting, he could not get her out of his
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After spending many sleepless nights, he went to consult a
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crazy, he was married 45 years, and did not want to cheat on
his wife.
"What should I do?" asked Jake.
The psychiatrist said, "Take Melrose Avenue."
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For all you single women torn with this dilemma when on a
date, here are the DEFINITIVE answers:
If SHE wants to sleep with him, then it's a date HE pays.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice
person who wants the "just friends" message to get through
loud and clear SHE pays for herself and insists on it.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice
person but HE's rich HE pays but SHE offers.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice
person, and HE's rich HE pays.
If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice
person, and HE's not rich HE pays.
If HE pays but SHE doesn't want to seem like a freeloader
SHE offers to help, HE refuses, SHE says she'll get the
drinks or coffee later.
If HE's cheap HE asks her to split the bill.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not a nice person, and
they're going to a good place SHE feigns indifference to
the financial catastrophe that awaits him. HE pays.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's a nice person, and
they're going to a good place SHE slips him the money
before they get to the restaurant.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's nice, and they're going
to a cheap place SHE pays.
If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not nice, and they're
going to a cheap place SHE suddenly realizes that SHE has
to stay home and wash her hair...forever.
If SHE asked him out, it's his birthday, and they're in
love SHE pays.
If SHE asked him out and it's not his birthday but HE knows
what's good for him SHE starts to pay, HE protests, SHE
gives in.
If HE's a guy with any interest in seeing her again HE pays.
Period.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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