Monday, December 23, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Everybody is gearing up like maniacs these last few days before Christmas. Me? I'm already over it. I get burned out on the holidays fast. It's not that I'm a Scrooge, but Christmas has lost its meaning and what's left is hardly worth celebrating.

Is Christmas about Jesus or is it about maxing out your credit card? You know, it doesn't matter whether you believe he was the son of God or not. He is still an extremely important historical figure.

For example, if it weren't for Jesus do you know how many Mexicans would be walking around today without a name?

Celebratingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Saturday is the shortest day of the year. The longest day of the year, of course, is Christmas with your relatives." -Dave Letterman



If you're singing Christmas songs on your neighbor's lawn at night with your church group, it's called "caroling."

But if you're doing it alone with no pants on, it's called "drunk and disorderly."



"A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the other hand, men spend half their income on the wives when the wife finds out about the mistress. So it all balances out." -Jay Leno



With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.