Thursday, November 3, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I overheard my 13-year-old daughter making a case with my wife to allow her to go to a Halloween party.

"But you know we all have plans and nobody is going to be home to take you or pick you up," my wife explained.

"Suzie's mom can do that!" my daughter pleaded.

"Sorry, Honey, but you can't go to a party when we are not going to be home."

There was more pleading, some crying, and the big 'You are so out of touch!' Followed by a slammed bedroom door.

I walked up behind my wife and hugged her. "Way to toe the line."

"It's getting more difficult," she sighed. "I'm thinking, 'what's the difference if we're home or not? We've never gotten a bad call when any of them were out, and Suzie's mom is great and she'll be home..."

"It's more than that, Sweetie," I said. "She's almost 14 and I remember what I was trying to do at that age."

"Yeah? What?"

"Trying to get a girl to blow me."

She shook her head. "Thirty-four years later and you're still trying to do the same thing."

Blowlessly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"In Michigan, an 87-year-old man was arrested after police searched his car and found 228 pounds of cocaine. Police became suspicious when he pulled them over and he really wouldn't stop talking about his grandchildren." -Conan O'Brien



I was making love to this girl and she started crying.

I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"

She said. "No. I hate myself now."

--Rodney Dangerfield



"Last week, two escaped prisoners in Argentina got away from police by disguising themselves as sheep. Guards said they should have known something was up, when they saw two sheep walking out of a prison." -Jimmy Fallon



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What most Liberals, Conservatives and politicians in general don't understand: THE DEBT CEILING.

Look at it this way...

Let's say, you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood... and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.

What do you think you should do?

Raise the ceilings or pump out the shit?

Your choice is coming Nov. 2012.