Monday, January 10, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
God, what a tough weekend! Friday night I got the news that
my uncle had an 'episode' which involved chest pains. They
took him to the hospital for that.
Then Saturday one of my daughters got some kind of infection
or irritation that caused her eyes to swell up, so we had to
go to the doctor for that!
Then Sunday my wife got a yeast infection...and to add insult
to injury she told me she had a touch of lock jaw, too.
Deprivedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Take a minute for this. It will warm your heart!
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"A United Airlines plane had to make an emergency landing
after the captain was drinking coffee and spilled it on the
control panel. In his defense, he was drinking the coffee
to sober up." -David Letterman
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates,
they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such
wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to
earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren." and *poof*
she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna." and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Alberta Pipalini." St. Peter
looks perplexed.
"Who?" he says."
Alberta Pipalini." replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name
just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it
to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands
it back to her and says. "No sister, the paper says it was
the ' Alberta Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6
months."
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"Southwest Airlines has announced that it could soon begin
making international flights. Which may finally answer that
age-old question: What would it be like to take a bus across
the Atlantic?" -Jimmy Fallon
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting
outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come
out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when
his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his
hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!"
she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down
there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and
thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten.
For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing
all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he
gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of
town, she invites him over for a little action.
After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she
says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says,
pointing to her crotch.
"HELL NO," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!"
"Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no such thing
as teeth down there!"
"Yes, there are," he says, "my Mom told me so."
"No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself."
With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little
peek.
"No, I'm sorry" he says. "My Mom already told me that all
women have teeth down there."
"Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her
panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, "LOOK,
I DON'T have any teeth down there."
The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, after
seeing the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com