Monday, February 15, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The last month or so Clean Laffs Joe has been grooming a
scraggly beard. It's finally grown out enough to where he
doesn't look like a child molester anymore. Unfortunately
now he looks like a reject from a 70s porno.
Personally I like to maintain a well-groomed goatee. I
think it makes me look distinguished, but even so I couldn't
sit idly by and let Joe embarrass himself like that.
"Joe," I said, "I know you're going for the whole Marlboro
Man look, but the truth is you really look like the cop
from the Village People. Why don't you groom yourself a
little bit? You know, do a little manscaping so you don't
look like the Unabomber."
"I'm trying to look like a cowboy, TZ," he replied, "not
like a pussy, like you."
"It's funny you should say that," I told him, "since your
face looks like an Indian woman's poonani."
Metrosexually,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Loveable Lion DVD Collection
You'll Fall In Love With Lions...
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"The Washington Post says the drug Botox could be the newest
weapon used by terrorists. Botox is short for Botulinum Toxin
and a speck of toxin the size of a grain of sand could kill
a 150-pound adult. Fortunately, I haven't weighed 150 pounds
since I was nine." -Jimmy Kimmel
A young couple get married. As the husband is an avid
golfer, the wife decides to take up golf so she can spend
more time with him.
Knowing nothing about it, she goes to the pro for lessons.
The pro was busy and advised her to get a bucket of balls
and practice until he was through with his present client.
"But I don't even know how to hold the clubs" The pro says,
"Just hold it like you would your husband's penis."
Some time later, the pro approaches the driving range to
see the woman driving the ball a fair distance. He says,
"Not bad, but lets take the club out of your mouth."
150 Sci-Fi Television Classics NOW on DVD
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"A Holiday Inn in Great Britain is now offering human bed-
warmers. These are people hired to lay in between the
sheets to keep the bed warm. You know every hooker in town
is saying, 'Why didn't I think of that?'" -Jay Leno
Crystal Nail File 2-Pack
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
***************************************************
1. She is not a "BABE "or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
"VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-
ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
"MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
10. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS: - She is
"PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
11. She is not a "TWO-BIT WHORE" - She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com