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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Greetings Laff Lovers,

A buddy of mine who is twice divorced dropped by to return my
ladder. My wife asked him when he was planning on marrying the
girl he's been with for two years.

"That's funny," he said, "because she asked me the same question =

last week."

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"I told her that I could do her one better. I told her that we
could immediately start to hate each other and start the
proceddings to sue the hell out of each other without bothering
to go through the formality of a marriage."

"What did she say?" my wife asked.

"She said, 'OK.'"

Fast-forwardingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"Happy birthday to the birth control pill, which turns 50
years old this week. You know what that means? If you're
51, there's a good chance that your parents didn't want
you." -Jay Leno



Thomas Gladstone, a stockbroker, received an urgent phone call
one afternoon. "My name is Walters," the caller announced.
"About two weeks ago my wife got a crazy idea and started
walking the street asking me to procure customers for her."

"Just a minute," Gladstone protested. "You want Dr. Gladstone
the psychiatrist. His name is right below mine in the phone
book. Many people dial me by mistake."

"No mistake," came the reply. "I want you to invest all the
money we're making."



Victory At Sea - 26 Original Episodes, Digitally Restored... $9.99...=

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"Georgia passed a new measure that requires adults in pickup
trucks to wear a seatbelt. Not only that, they also have to
use a cup holder for their beer." -Jimmy Fallon



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DATING RITUALS

WHITE WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary
position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti
and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists
on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the
thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head
again.

CHINESE WOMEN

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing
happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing
happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already
realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real
expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on
Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father,
his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids,
her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins,
her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you
live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home
that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio
Grande.

The POINT?

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?


Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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