Monday, January 21, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

We are on the precipice of an historic event. My book, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ, is about to sell out. In fact, we have fewer than 50 copies left.

This will be the last week I will be advertising the book. After this week most of the remaining copies will be placed into permanent archive, packed in a hermetically sealed container filled with an inert gas so as to prevent any corruption or degradation of the pages.

A few copies will be sent to the Library of Congress and to the National Archive, and one copy will be shot into space in a permanent orbit, so that when the world finally ends, whatever intelligence eventually comes upon the uninhabitable ruins of our planet, the wisdom contained in my book will still exist to enlighten a new culture.

I have already reserved by request copies for the Dalai Lama and Barack Obama. If you have not ordered your copy this week will quite literally be your last chance. After this they will be gone, gone, gone.

To read more about it or to order please look for the link toward the bottom of this page!

Historically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel



During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, "You know, if something happened to Lloyd, I don't think I could ever marry again."

Her friend nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean," she said. "Once is enough."



"Sources are saying that Tiger Woods wants to re-marry his ex-wife and might be willing to go for a no-cheating clause. This special clause would be known as a wedding vow."
-Conan O'Brien



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's ONLY $1! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman sitting next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."

Finally the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid, make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"