Monday, June 6, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The weirdoes in the office were looking at genital tattoos today when I came back from lunch. I heard them 'Eeeewing' and groaning over them so I made a detour to take a look.

One guy had a snake tattooed on his junk...and I mean right on his junk...and there was a chick with a devil's head tattooed on her mons pubis so her actual vaginal opening made up the mouth.

Now, I don't have any tattoos, but I guess I can understand the fascination with them. Still there is no way I would let anybody near Tugboat TZ with a needle.

And we already know that women trap a man's soul with their vaginas. We don't need the illustration.

Metaphorically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!" --Dave Attell



As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed into a drum, and a dozen names are pulled.

During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror.

"There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything."

Both were excused.



"The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one." --Anonymous



A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I am so ashamed, Doctor," she said. "I guess I let myself go."

The physician was checking her eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.

The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course... Now just open your mouth and say 'moo' - I mean, Ahhh!'"

Email TZ at: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com