Thursday, March 18, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
We've had some gorgeous weather here in the Chicago area
lately. Today it topped 60 degrees (Fahrenheit). Well,
that's global warming for you. But all of this warm, sunny
weather has been making me think of one thing; golf.
I got a taste of it a few months ago when I visited my
nephew in Texas, and I was appalled at how rusty my game
has gotten. I can't wait to get back out there and
hammer my score back down into the 80s where it belongs.
Most people start getting all horny when the weather warms
up, but I guess it's a symptom of being married for six-
teen years that I'm more interested in golf.
Tell you the truth, I'm probably better at sex than I am
at golf, but golf is more fun.
Honestly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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Need a day off? Here are some excuses you can use...
If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to
my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about
it.
I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the
other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some
kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right
up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only
by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log
(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog
on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be
in late, or early.
My stigmata's acting up.
I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my
previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work.
OK?
I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I
know we have that deadline to meet.
I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the
Food Giant.
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit dis-
order and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be
able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking
with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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