Sunday, December 25, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
A happy holiday to all of my faithful readers, and even the unfaithful readers who only ever open one or two issues of Laff-a-Day a year and never buy anything from our online store. It's not like I have a wife and kids to feed, so go ahead and continue shopping at the Dollar Store.
Where was I? Oh, yes, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year as well. It was a long year, but successful, thanks to you. You are the reason we are here and don't think I don't know it!
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: email@example.com
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If you're singing Christmas songs on your neighbor's lawn at night with your church group, it's called "caroling."
But if you're doing it alone with no pants on, it's called "drunk and disorderly."
My wife has this red 'Christmas' lingerie with faux fur around the neck and cuffs and it comes with a little Santa hat.
"I hate this outfit," I said when she walked into the room.
She replied, "Then why are you wearing it?"
"Everybody celebrates holidays differently. This year many people are traveling to theme parks. They're going to events like Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party and the Dr. Seuss-inspired Grinchmas Who-liday Spectacular. And of course, the most popular event - go play while mommy and daddy drink." -Jimmy Fallon
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.
'In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'