Monday, July 22, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I came across a very funny page today that had a collection of pics of homeless guys with hilarious signs. And if you can't make fun of homeless guys, who can you make fun of? Having nothing better to do I transcribed some of the funnier ones for you right here.


"Father was killed by ninjas. Need money for karate lessons."

"16 wives, 7, hungry dogs, 3 thin cats, 25 kids and still horny. Please help with loose change."

"Will code html for food."

"Will eat for food."

"Need cash for alcohol research."

"Saving up for a hooker."

"Time traveler needs money for new flux capacitor."

"I'm like Obama, I want change."

"Sorry, I'm blind. Can I feel your tits?"

"My wife has been kidnapped. I'm short 99 cents for ransom."

Solicitingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A key prosecution witness in the racketeering and murder trial of Boston crime boss Whitey Bulger was found dead this week. Who could have seen that coming? What, a witness in a mob trial dead? Turned out the guy suffered an allergic reaction to a baseball bat." -Jay Leno



The Down Side of Cubicles:

* Being told to "Think outside the box"' when I'm in the fucking box all day?

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

* Lack of rafters for the noose.

* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.

* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.



One of the biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.



A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"

The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."