Thursday, April 7, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was just getting used to having a little personal TZ time
in my life again when sport season hit me like a train. And
I'm not talking about Major League Baseball, either.
It's volleyball, softball, little league baseball, soccer,
etc. Every single one of the rug rats is on at least one
team and just looking at the schedule is stressing me out.
I tried talking my boy out of both baseball AND soccer.
"What do you want to play soccer for?" I asked him. "You're
not European. You're not even that good."
"But it's fun!" he complains, and his mother encourages him,
of course.
And dragging them back and forth from practices and games
all week isn't even the worst part. I have to watch my mouth
in front of all the other parents and the coaches. Lord knows
if I talked in front of them like I do at the office or even
at home, I'd have DCFS at my house in a week.
And then how would I explain the undocumented 14-year-old
Korean girl I have living in the basement?
Shelteringly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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After announcing his invention, the scientist was taken
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Two men lost their long-time drinking buddy to alcoholism.
At the funeral, as they passed by the open casket, one
remarked to the other, "Gee, Sam sure look good, doesn't
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The other replied, "He ought to; he hasn't had a drink in
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Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers
shooting the breeze.
Billy-Bob asked Bubba, "If I snuck ovah to yore house while
you wuz out fishin an' fucked your wife, an' she got
pregnant, would dat make us kin?"
Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, "I don't think
so....but it sho would make us even."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com