Monday, August 19, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

We've had some gorgeous weather here in the Chicago area lately. That's global warming for you. But all of this warm, sunny weather has been making me think of one thing; golf. I have picked up clay shooting recently, and that has occupied a lot of my free afternoons, but now I think it's time I got back out there and hammer my score back down into the 80s where it belongs.

Most people start getting all horny when the weather warms up, but I guess it's a symptom of being married for eighteen years that I'm more interested in golf.

Tell you the truth, I'm probably better at sex than I am at golf, but golf is more fun.

Honestly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!



A young boy with diarrhea approaches his mom and asks for some Viagra.

Mom says, "Viagra? Why in the world do you want that?"

The boy replies, "Isn't that what you give Dad when his shit won't get hard?"



A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."



Procrastinating is like masturbating: You're only fucking yourself.



[Here is an old one (in fact, I can't remember the last time I read a really good joke I never heard before), but it is one of my favorites.]

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'