Monday, May 13, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read about a medical study which said that having frequent sex decreases your chances of getting a cold. The more sex you have, the less chance you'll have a cold. Something to do with boosting your red blood cells.

This is exactly the kind of thing I love to read. The gov- ernment should be subsidizing this kind of research.

So I printed the article out. I can't wait until the next time my wife sniffles or sneezes. I'll be able to say, "Honey, I've got just the thing for that."

Home-remedying-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Hooters is letting mothers eat for free on Mother's Day.
What better way to tell your mother that she raised a
cheapskate and a perve?" -Conan O'Brien



A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions. "Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife, trying to calm a new baby and tend to the other children milling around her, he sighed, "Every time."



I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a pro- fessional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "Well, I think my penis tastes funny..."



As I Mature
***********

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and
give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes,
After that you better have a huge schlong.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting,
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of
money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about
in life are taken from you too soon,
and all the less important ones just never go away.