Thursday, September 20, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Satan, our hell-spawned office manager, has been on a hiring spree lately. Unfortunately for my mid-life crisis she has mostly been hiring sexy, young hotties. How am I supposed to deal with that?

Our most recent acquisition is a recent college grad named Rachelle, an intern, who is an aspiring model, of all things. And apparently a pretty good one. She is actually a finalist in a contest to be the 'face' of Caravelle watches by Bulova. Out of a national campaign she has made it to the final raft of 25 girls. All she needs now is the votes.

If you would like to see what has been inspiring my latest sexual fantasies, just click on the link here, Face of Caravelle, and look for Rachelle (in the black and white dress) and click on her picture. It's worth it. She's a cutie.

Vicariously,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A 66-year-old deputy U.S. attorney general in South Carolina lost his job after police discovered him at a cemetery with an 18-year-old stripper, a bag of sex toys, and a bottle of Viagra. To be fair, people do grieve differently." -Jay Leno



Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, "I think I'm going to see a dietician."

Nina asked, "Why?"

Rosy answered, "'Cause I need to know once and for all, how many calories are in sperm."

Nina replied, "I really have no clue, but if you're swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you're a little chunky."




I was making love to this girl and she started crying.

I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"

She said. "No. I hate myself now."

--Rodney Dangerfield



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The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini."

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?"

"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."