Monday, August 2, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Lewis and I were comparing old and contemporary movies.
"I like the old ones better," I said. "They were deeper.
Had more meaning."
"Yeah...Hey, who was the guy who got butt-fucked in Deliverance?"
"Ned Beatty. See? They just don't make 'em like that anymore."
Reviewingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Brewers in Austria have created a cheese-infused beer.
Didn't that used to be called 'vomit?'" -Jay Leno
A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My
husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He
doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around
the house organizing things."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after
we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and
plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in
its place.'"
The first woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."
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"A couple in Romania has named their baby "Yahoo" because
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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Child Support Agency Forms
The following are all replies that Dallas women have written
on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing
fathers' name details.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A
was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of
the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on
the same night.
2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child
as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly
from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men
that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.
She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I
had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember
that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to
track down the father, can you send me his phone number?
Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter.
He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in
one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service
stations in this area and see if he's had It replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter
from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was im-
maculate and that he is Christ risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs
me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have
cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between
doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks
look The same to me.
8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up
with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that
I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs
earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched
more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive,
mine might have remained unfertilized.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com