Monday, July 1, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

We finally made plans for the fourth of July. This is actually early for us. My family is the worst for making plans at the last minute.

Anyway, we decided to go to my brother's house for the fourth. He doesn't know it yet, but he will. Probably tomorrow when I'll get around to telling him he's hosting. It's his own fault. He's the one who decided to buy a house with a pool.

The kids love it. They spend almost the entire day in there trying to drown each other, except for when they climb out to devour several hot dogs and hamburgers each like a wet, sun burned swarm of locusts.

It's great for me. They're preoccupied for four or five hours and at the end of the day they're so exhausted they collapse in bed and the wife and I get the night to ourselves.

I just hope it turns out like that. You never know with kids.

Skeptically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Wisconsin pleaded guilty to having sex with a couch. How do you get arrested for that? Does someone come to your house? 'What's going on here? Couch patrol. Furniture vice squad.' In his defense, the Wisconsin man said he thought it was a loveseat." -Craig Ferguson



Nina and Liz are having a conversation during there lunch break. Nina asks, "So, Liz, how's your sex life these days?"

Liz replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind."

"Social Security?" Nina asked quizzically.

"Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on."



"An amusement park in Mexico has opened a fake border-crossing attraction. You get to experience what it's like to come across the border. Unfortunately, the park is losing money now because instead of buying tickets, people just keep sneaking in." -Jay Leno



Two friends were hanging out in a Western bar. One decided to try the Bucking Bronco machine. He managed to hang on for three whole minutes.

His buddy was impressed. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "That was sure something!"

"It was easy," his friend said modestly. "I get lots of practice. My wife's an epileptic."