Thursday, July 21, 2011Greetings Laff Lovers,
I'm in the doghouse with the wife again. She has been nagging me for months to build a rack for firewood because I always have it stacked on the side of the house every year.
This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for all of the mice who find the stacks of wood an ideal community. After all, it is immediately adjacent to abundant food, water and warmth conveniently provided by our house.
My solution has always been to hire an exterminator every summer to come out and blitz the house, and I am always rewarded with a dozen or so little carcasses, but in addition to not wanted to spend the couple hundred bucks the wife has grown increasing opposed to being swamped with clouds of poisonous mist.
I, on the other hand, am opposed to the entire weekend of back-breaking labor it would cost me to construct this monstrosity she has in mind. So I came up with a compromise.
"We'll just get a cat," I told her.
"No way! Because I'm going to be the one who ends up feeding and cleaning up after it. Plus, you hate pets."
"I have never," I countered, "been opposed to a little extra pussy around the house."
Procrastinatingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.com"I let a stripper talk me into getting my nipples pierced. It didn't take her much to convince me. It doesn't take women much to talk me into doing anything, really. She was beautiful, I'd seen her naked...that's all it usually takes." -Drew Carey
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Dot you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.
The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatist, steadfastly replied,
"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back in my face, I can use it again."
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?"
--Dogbert, Dilbert
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***It's Available.
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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZA couple decided to rent a cabin in Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was so cold the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for the fire place.
He comes in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she put his hands between her thighs to warm them. After a few minutes he goes back outside to finish chopping wood.
He came in after another 5 minutes and said, "Honey my hands are cold again!" So once again she tells him to put his hands between her thighs to warm them.
Back outside he goes only to come in again after 5 minutes to announce, "Honey my hands are cold again."
"Dammit!" she yells, "Don't your ears ever get cold?"