Thursday, July 11, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Here it is, one more week shot to hell. Do you ever feel like your life is trickling away one week, one day, one hour, one minute at a time? Like there is something you should be doing with your life but you never have the time or the energy because you spend all of your time working and all of your money on the necessities of living and providing for your family?

Sometimes I think there must be more. Sometimes I want to make more of my life than eating three meals a day, sleeping seven hours a night and bringing my wife to sexual ecstasy twice.....once a week.

Before I grow too old I am going to find my purpose, make my mark. I am going to leave a legacy so that after I am gone people will remember the name of TZ...oh, look! Naked pictures of Jessica Alba...

Philosophically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"I molested myself last night. At first I said no, but I knew I really wanted it." -TZ



Friendship between the sexes

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.



Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.



On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

'Yes,' he informs them, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out?

Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here!

Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'