Monday, February 14, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
So today is Valentine's Day. What a load of crap. The whole
purpose of Valentine's Day is to separate you from your
money. If you want to show your woman you appreciate her,
drag her into the bedroom, strip her naked, tie her to the
headboard and fuck her right in the ass. Because the worst
thing you can do to a woman is to let her think that she is
no longer the object of your desire.
Every woman wants to be a sexual object. It's hard-wired into
their brains. They get off on the power of being able to
reduce men to sexually-driven simpletons.
If you keep your woman lubed up to the point where it's sore
when she crosses her legs, she will be your willing slave.
Drag her downtown for a two hundred dollar meal and fifty
bucks worth of flowers? Fuck that.
And if you're waiting until February 14th to take your woman
out and spend a little money on her you've already fucked it
up. If she's worth the effort she should be worth the effort
more frequently than once a year. If the only time she gets
a little romance is on Valentine's Day it's no wonder you
never get blow jobs.
Educationally,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A high school student in Illinois was arrested for bringing
pot brownies to school. And here's the worst part: he didn't
even bring enough for everyone." -Jimmy Fallon
There was a knock on the door this morning.
I opened it and there was a young man standing there who
said: "Hello. I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
I said, "Come in and sit down! Now what do you want to talk
about?"
He said, "Fucked if I know. I've never got this far before!"
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A blonde called her mom and said, "Hi Mom, I need some help.
I'm at the police station."
"Police station?! I thought you were with your father at
the hardware store."
"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make
one phone call."
"Arrested? My God! What happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."
"What on earth? Why did you do that?"
"It wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com