Thursday, March 24, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read an article trying to explain why Donald Trump is so popular. The story was over 3,000 words long and was packed with all sorts of anecdotes and opinions, none of which was a clear and concise explanation.

Apparently nobody in the media can figure out Trump's appeal.

But it is really not that difficult, so let me lay it out for you nice and simple; the reason Donald Trump is as popular as he is, is because he is not a politician.

That's it.

I don't think there is a single, educated, informed, adult citizen out there today who really believes anymore that politicians are not the enemy of the people.

Politicians have one single, solitary purpose, and if you think it is to serve their constituency you are still one of the uneducated and uninformed.

No, the single, solitary purpose of a politician, any politician, is to separate you from as much of your filthy, hard-earned lucre as they can get away with it.

Of course, there is the secondary motivation of securing and consolidating their power, but like Tony Montana said: "Dis country, ju gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

It's all about the money. Money is freedom, money is power, money is influence, and they want you to have as little of it as possible.

Oh, sure, there may be the odd one who gets into politics for altruistic reasons, but once they realize how much they can steal with practically no consequences, the altruism and patriotism go straight out the window.

People, as in the population in general, because the people close to the top have know this all along, but everyday people have finally figured this out, and then along comes Donald Trump.

He may be an opportunist, an egomaniac, a megalomaniac, a shameless self-promoter, a blow hard and a philanderer, but what he is NOT is a politician. And people are prepared to grasp at any straw, no matter how orange, if it means not putting yet another fat cat, lying, cheating, sociopathic, two-faced, black-hearted politician in office.

Non-politically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



"Over the weekend at a Bernie Sanders rally, a woman took off her top and revealed anti-Trump messages. Witnesses say she made two good points." -Conan O'Brien



A priest and a rabbi are sitting at an outdoor cafe when a 10-year-old boy walks by. The priest says, "Want to fuck him?"

The rabbi replies, "Out of what?"



"This is how popular March Madness is: Doctors have found a sudden rise in vasectomies coincides with the start of the NCAA tournament. Apparently, guys are scheduling their vasectomies for the beginning of the tournament so that they can have four days of rest and not miss any of the games. There's an easier way to get four days off to watch basketball. You can just say you got a vasectomy, you don't actually have to do it! Your boss isn't going to ask you, 'OK Larry, drop your pants. We both know you were out of vacation days.'" -James Corden



Back and forth...back and forth. In and out...in and out. A little to the right...a little to the left. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back.

She was getting near to the end. He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved... Forwards then backwards...forward then backward... Again...and again!

Her heart was pounding now...Her face was flushed...She groaned... softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out a piercing scream, "OK, you smug bastard, so I can't parallel park. You do it!"