Thursday, June 9, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

As I should have expected, I got nothing but wise-ass responses from my request for tips, advice or confirmation of nipple orgasms.

Of the 12 or 15 responses, the only two that were not completely stupid or unintelligible I reprinted for you here:


Hi TZ!

So yes, there is at least one female still reading your column. But how your wife has put up with you all these years is beyond me. She must be a saint, or porking the UPS driver on the side. You said, "It is even possible for a woman to cum from anal stimulation." Are you kidding me?! A woman should cum EVERY SINGLE TIME she has anal sex. If she doesn't, it's likely you have a pencil in your pants. Or the UPS driver is hung like a horse, and you simply can't compare. But hey, can you have your UPS driver give me a call? -Sharon

[I guess practice makes perfect. Is there something wrong with your baby cannon that you're taking so much traffic through the back door?]


Yep! Very rare but very real. My girlfriend was the first to enjoy my way of playing with her knockers to a very real "O". I learned long ago that most women enjoy a good clit sucking. Try to envision her fun bags as a clit and see if your tongue can satisfy her above the waist like you can below. Don't be surprised if this doesn't work for you though. I am the only person I know who has seen a nipple "O" and my girlfriend did not have one till she met me 4 years ago. -Mike B

[No, I'm sure she wasn't faking any orgasms. It was definitely you, stud. You succeeded where everybody else failed. Did she tell you she was a virgin before you, too?]


Disappointedly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.



I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business, when this drunk fat girl came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said, "You're kind of cute, you gotta a phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen."

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches.




Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.



At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is having sex.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 60 success is having sex.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.