Thursday, January 7, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
When my kids were little I couldn't wait for them to get
older. They were in such constant need of attention I
fantasized about the day when they would be independent
enough to leave me the hell alone for five minutes.
The optimism of inexperience.
When they were little they were easy to take care of. If
I wanted to keep track of any of them I just locked them
in the car seat or the high chair. I always knew where
they were. I could carry them wherever I wanted to go.
Now they're all over the place. I don't know why I thought
they would be more independent, because they are constantly
at my elbow, asking for money, asking for rides, asking for
new clothes, asking for toys, asking for help with their
homework!
I was complaining about this to the wife who cautioned me
that when they do finally start to become really independent,
driving, spending all day at school and sports and eventually
going college, that I am going to suffer from empty nest
syndrome.
"No problem," I answered, "I'll just get a dog and a mistress."=
Problem-solvingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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If you travel, you simply MUST have this. Take a few minutes
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"It's been reported that a woman is now trying to sell a
sex tape she made with Tiger Woods. The sex tape will be
available soon at adult bookstores in the Tiger Woods'
section." -Conan O'Brien
A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of
her husband.
"But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the
judge.
"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "It wasn't my fault.
I didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife!"
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"Health officials in Mexico have issued a warning after
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Arm Rest Organizer w/ Table-Top
Organize & Store All Your Favorite TV Accessories, & More...
List Price: $24.99
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Organize your magazines, remote controls, eye glasses,
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FEATURES:
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HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from
40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no
apparent reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but libido increases greatly when
saturated with alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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