Monday, July 18, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I took my daughter to her driver's ed class and was shocked to find a bunch of 16 year-old hoodlums milling around waiting for class to begin.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

"Those are my classmates, Dad."

"Classmates? They don't look like classmates, they look like criminals."

"Be quiet!" she gasped. "They'll hear you!"

"They'll hear me?" I said. "I'll make it easy on them," I said as I rolled down my window. "Hey, you with the mohawk, are you taking this class to help with your car stealing business, or are you going to be driving the get-away car for bank robberies and drive-by shootings?"

The look on his face told me he was trying to figure out what I was saying, but he was unused to an adult asking him a question to which he thought he had to reply. Finally he said, "Huh?"

My daughter turned away and slumped down in the seat. "I'm never letting you take me anywhere ever again!"

"Now that's funny."

Cruisingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com



"Because of the bad economy and all the layoffs, a lot of women in white collar jobs are working at strip clubs. Women in strip clubs are having the same problems that women in corporate America are having: They can only climb so high on that brass pole before they hit that mirrored ceiling." -Jay Leno



A gay guy walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a 12 inch summer sausage. "Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely.

"What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "a slot machine!?"



"I heard that Lindsay Lohan is mad that she wasn't cast in the movie 'Black Swan.' Although there's still hope she might be cast in the sequel: 'Grey Goose.'" -Jimmy Fallon


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A man and his wife were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "We've been married so long, sweetheart, I hope you feel you can ask me anything you want. After all this time I want us to be completely open in our relationship."

The husband replies, "Okay, there is one thing that has been bothering me for a long time, but I haven't had the courage to ask before...but I have noticed that all six of our children look similar to one another except one. I can't figure out how he got to look so different. Did he have a different father than the rest?"

The wife stops. She is unable to look her husband in the eyes. Slowly she replies, "yes. Yes he did have a different father."

Her husband was taken aback. "Oh! Okay, I must know. Please tell me. Who was that child's father?"

Again she cannot look her husband in the eyes. She is very distressed, and after a long silence she slowly said, "YOU."