Thursday, December 31, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Well, my 14 year-old son has been working on me to load up the family truckster and take everyone on a surprise holiday ski trip to Granite Peak in Wisconsin. He's a silver tongued devil because when he saw that I was actually considering the idea he closed the deal by informing me that my in-laws were thinking of staying over for a few days, and that was information I was not supposed to know about.

"Blow the dust off your gear, find your mother's boots and get ready to hit the slopes," I said, "and I don't mean the neighbor Ling Wie Tuck."

Everyone is actually pretty excited to spend their New Years weekend out of town. It's nice to see the kids not act like total assholes every now and then.

And my wife? Once I told her that we would not be staying at that Howard Johnson's shithole we stayed at last time she was genuinely excited.

Surprisingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that good-looking people are more likely to have daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely to have cats." -Jimmy Fallon



Little Johnny goes to school and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Johnny raises his hand and says, "Mas-tur-bate."

The teacher smiles and says, "Wow Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."



"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." --Walter Kerr



On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.

The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was.

The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"

"What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.

"Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.

After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."