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Thursday, July 16, 2015Greetings Laff Lovers,
Isn't it obvious? Who is the most powerful woman in the United States? Oprah!
How about Wonder Woman? No, wait, she is Amazonian and it has to be an American, doesn't it? I keep getting thrown by the star-spangled, red, white and blue outfit.
TZ, I agree with you. Monica has already been on a President named Bill, why not put her on the 10 dollar bill? -Dave
Who better than a teacher on the new $10 bill...Debra LaFave!
[I have to admit, I wouldn't mind keeping her face next to my balls all day.]
Only problem is the lady on the $10 has to be dead!
[Does brain-dead count?]
T.Z. My suggestion for the ideal woman on the $10-Bill would be Mae West.
I think it should be Marilyn Chambers. -Henning
You know they will never decide who, so why not put a picture of a vagina on the bill that way it honors all women. Hell at one time or another we all owe a lot to a vagina and would it be funny to hear a stripper say "I'll give you a lap dance for a vagina."
[This one is my favorite so far.]
Opinionatedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives"Women should have labels on their foreheads that say, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'." --Jeffrey Bernard
I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, and drop-dead gorgeous!
I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."
"Well," I said, "I think my dick tastes funny..."
"The big mistake men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at 21 than you did at ten." --Jules Feiffer
The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects again.
"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection," the patient says. "'I'm fine with pills."
The dentist steps out of the office and returns a moment later, "Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a painkiller!"
"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."