Thursday, November 5, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

A story popped up recently about a high school out here in one of the Chicago suburbs that is being forced by the U.S. Department of Education to give full access to the girls locker room to a transgender student who was born a male.

According to the story... the district has made several accommodations for her (him) and other transgender students, including 'changing names as requested, changing gender records, also provide access to bathrooms.' But the district drew the line when it came to the student's request for full access to the female locker room.

The student, whose identity has not been made public, turned to the American Civil Liberties Union for help and filed a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights. The school now has 30 days to comply (or 28, since the story is already a couple days old).

Now, I don't want to get into a moral or ethical or even social debate on this topic, but I would like to vent my frustration that this revolution in sexual identity has come about 30 years too late for me to take advantage of it.

When I was in high school I can't tell you how many hours I spent fantasizing about what went on in the girls locker room. All of those supple, nubile young bodies undressing and showering together, covered in soapy lather and glistening from the hot, steamy water. Did they soap each other up? Did they snap each other's bouncing asses with wet towels? Did they all stand around topless comparing the size of their tits? Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be invisible for about 15 minutes after a volleyball game!

Of course, 30 years ago there was still a pretty widespread social stigma about things like transgenderism, but I don't know...if I could have gotten access to the holy of holies I think it might have been worth it.

I'm trying to picture myself showing up to wrestling practice in a sun dress and pumps. Even that wouldn't have been the hard part. The hard part would have been figuring out what to do with my swinging dick if I ever got inside the girls locker room.

Alternatively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

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Someone asked me what I do since I have retired. Do I have a job?

I replied, "I am my wife's sexual advisor."

Somewhat shocked, they said, "What do you mean by that?"

"Very simple," I said, "My wife told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask for it."