Thursday, August 16, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was playing golf with a friend of my the other day and he was telling me about how his father-in-law had died and how his wife was really busted up about it.

"I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, TZ," he said, "but the old man died almost a month ago and she is still depressed about it."

"Well, sometimes these kinds of things take time. Let her grieve for crying out loud."

"I've got no problem with grieving, but like I said, it's been almost a month and, and..."

"Oh, I understand," I interrupted. "You want to know how long before you can climb back into the old saddle."

"Yeah, that's it."

"There is no definitive answer," I said. "Could be weeks, or it could be months. My suggestion is learn how to fuck while your wife is crying."

Compassionately,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Oregon walked away with minor injuries after he fell asleep in a dumpster and ended up in a trash compacter. It raises a lot of questions, and the answer to all of them is tequila." -Jimmy Fallon



The guy says, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting it up."

The doctor examines him and says, "You'll need to have some work done to bring back your sex drive. I can do it in a series of operations that will take thirty days and cost twelve thousand dollars, or I can do it in one operation right away that would cost thirty thousand dollars. Why don't you go home and discuss it with your wife?"

The next day the guy comes back into the doctor's office. The doctor says, "What did you decide?"

He says, "We're going to re-do the kitchen."



"A man who ordered a television off of Amazon was shocked because Amazon instead sent him a rifle. Which means somewhere a hunter is trying to kill a deer by making it watch 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey.'" -Conan O'Brien



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A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him. She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.

He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered. Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.

"My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."

"Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about a couple of inches then I'll take my business elsewhere!"