Sunday, June 7, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Earlier this week one of the girls in the office was going to Sam's Club, and as is the custom, she asked if anyone needed her to pick anything up. For those of you who don't know--Sam's is a wholesale club that sells everything in bulk at a discount.

"I do!" I shouted. "Pick me up 500 paper plates, a case of paper towels, and a case...better make it 2 cases of toilet paper. I'm gonna have a barbecue this weekend."

"Are you really going to ask me to carry all that stuff?" she said.

"You're right, forget it. I think it's supposed to rain. Just pick me up a jumbo pack of the variety novelty condoms and one of those giant bottles of Astroglide. I mean, since I'm going to be inside all weekend anyway."

Considerately,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Q: What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
A: Piccassole


Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.



Suzy Lee fell in love, she planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy about it all, she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal, you'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yo maw don't know, but Joe is yo half-brother."

So Suzie forgot about her Joe and planned to marry Will.

But after telling pappy this, he said "There's trouble still you can't marry Will, my gal, and please don't tell yo mother, cause Will and Joe and several mo I know is yo half-brother."

But mama knew and said, "Honey child, do what makes yo happy. Marry Will or marry Joe, You ain't no kin to pappy!"



"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." --Walter Kerr



One hot summer day, a blonde woman came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

Ten minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?"

The blonde said it was hers. "Your dog seems to be in heat," the officer said.

The blonde replied, "No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."

The policeman said, "No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."

"No way," said the blonde. "My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning."

The exasperated policeman said, "NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!"

The blonde looked at the cop and said, "Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog."