Thursday, November 6, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Among the many great injustices perpetrated upon modern man; including traffic, fondu, line dancing and the DMV, must be listed push-up bras.

It is nothing more than socially sanctioned deceit on the part of women. Lying, plain and simple.

I have listened to women complain ad nauseam about how men lie and cheat, all the while wearing one of modern culture's greatest lies right under their shirts.

How many times has a man invested days, perhaps even weeks in a C or a D, only to discover at the moment of truth that he is suddenly knee-deep in a relationship with a B?

And it is not even that I am categorically opposed to the thoracically challenged, I am a fan of the female form in its many splendorous varieties, but don't base an entire relationship on an outright lie right from the outset!

My wife, on the other hand, has become a big fan of push-up bras in the last few years, but at least I already know what's under there. Besides, after three kids who am I to begrudge her a little support?

Honestly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A North Carolina man says he used his 'Never Ending Pasta Pass' from Olive Garden to eat at the restaurant 95 times in the past six weeks. Well, he didn't say that, but his tombstone does." -Seth Meyers



The lawyer says: "I have some good news and bad news."

The CEO replies: "I have had an awful day, let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer says: "Your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures that are now worth a minimum of $2 million."

The CEO replies enthusiastically: "Well done, very good news indeed! You've made my day; now what is the bad news?"

The lawyer answers: "The pictures are of you in bed with your secretary."



Q: If Tarzan and Jane were from West Virginia, what would Cheetah be?

A: Pregnant.



A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write with your other hand."