Thursday, August 21, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I don't want to jinx myself, but lately I've been feeling better than I have in years, and I feel I should share the secret with my fellow mid-aged boomers who have learned to live with all the aches and pains of growing older. Apparently, a little bit of physical activity will take away most of the pain.

A few sets of push ups, a few sets of crunches, some deep knee bends, a few minutes stretching the hips, hamstrings and back, and voila! I feel like an athlete again.

No matter how old you are, no matter how weak you are, if you do this routine nearly every day (takes about 15 minutes) you'll feel stronger and healthier in no time.

Oh, yeah, it'll also put lead in your pencil--and if you're a woman, it'll get the juices flowing again so you won't suffer from "desert dryness" anymore.

Therapeutically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Two elderly Irish drinking buddies are sitting at the pub pondering on the future.

One says to the other, "You know Mr. O'Shea, we've had great sport together for many years. It just came to mind that should it be I who should happen to go first, it would mean a great deal to me if you would say a few kind words at me grave."

The other friend responds, "That I'll do, Mr.O'Donnel, that I'll do. But should it be I who should happen to go first, for old times sake I'd be forever grateful if you would pour a bottle of fine Irish whiskey over me grave."

The friend responds, "That I'll do. That I'll do. But would you mind it so much if it should happen to pass through me kidneys first?"



Two homos, named Cecil and Scott, were living together. It was stinking hot one day and Cecil arrived home to find Scott with his ass in the freezer.

"Scott! What the hell are you doing?"

Scott replied, "It was so hot outside, I thought you'd like something cool to slip into..."



The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty year-old rancher in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?"

Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant, too."