Monday, October 11, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
My wife and I have reached a milestone. For the first time
in our nearly seventeen years of marriage she tried to fake
an orgasm. It was so obvious. So I stopped what I was doing
and took her face in my hands, looked deeply into her eyes
and said, "Honey, you don't have to fake it. I really don't
give a care if you get off or not."
Honestly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Rihanna revealed this week that she texts Lady Gaga before
major events to make sure they don't wear the same outfit.
Can you imagine that conversation? It's like, 'Hey Gaga. Are
you wearing the blue satin dress tonight or are you gonna
wear the cold-cut platter from Blimpie?'" -Jimmy Fallon
An old man had a dog he just loved but the dog had the bad
habit of attacking anything that moved including people. His
friends told him that if he had the dog fixed he would lose
his aggressions and quit this behavior.
So the old man had his dog fixed and a few days later was in
his front room when the mailman came up the steps. The dog
jumped up and went right thru the screen door and attacked
the mailman. The old man ran out and pulled his dog off and
began apologizing to the mailman.
He said, "I am so sorry, I don't know what to do or say. My
friends told me he would quit attacking people if I had him
fixed. I just don't know what to do."
The mailman picked himself up and said, "You should have
had his teeth pulled, I knew when he came out the door he
wasn't going to screw me."
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"The Obama administration announced that they deported a
record 392,000 illegal immigrants in the past year. Most
of those were deported on a Friday. This way they got to
spend a wonderful weekend in Mexico with their families
before returning on Monday." -Jay Leno
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This football player named Smith was an avid hunter and it
was the last day of deer season, but also the last game of
the football season. He tells his wife, "I've been just
sitting on the bench all season so would you put on my
uniform and take my place while I go hunting?"
The wife agrees and he goes hunting while she goes to the
game.
In the last three minutes of the game the coach yells, "Smith,
you're in!"
She can't say anything because her husband would lose his
contract and probably get sued. She thinks, 'What can happen
in just three minutes?' as she runs into the game.
The next thing she knows she has the ball and a 250 pound
linebacker plows into her like a freight train.
When she comes to she finds she's in the locker room naked
from the waist down.
The coach sees her coming around and says, "Don't worry
Smith! They say as soon as we get your balls back down where
they belong, your pecker will pop out."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com