Monday, October 29, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

As I get older I find that I am becoming more and more spiritual. I believe helping humanity and spreading peace to be paramount in the journey to enlightenment and eternal bliss. It was with these thoughts that I decided to buy a couple of raffle tickets from the kid asking all the passersby, "Want to win the raffle for the mentally challenged?"

So I spent a few dollars, jumped into my car and headed back to the office where I bumped into Lewis.

"What are you studying so intently, TZ?" he asked.

"Well, I just bought these raffle tickets that I think are supposed to benefit retarded children. But the kid's pitch who sold them to me has got me a little worried."

"Why, what did he say?" Lewis asked.

"Well, he kept repeating, 'Win the raffle for the mentally challenged! Win the raffle for the mentally challenged!'"

"Yeah, so?" Lewis asked confused.

"Well, now I'm worried that I just entered a raffle to win an actual retard."

Panickingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"During a campaign event Mitt Romney reached into his pocket and gave cash to a woman who said she was broke. Which got awkward, when she was like, 'I'm also lonely!'" -Jimmy Fallon



Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E , F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!



Women are just like orange juice cartons. Its not the shape or the size that matters, or even how sweet the juice is. It's all about getting those fucking flaps open.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil