Thursday, January 22, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I don't pay too much attention to what clothes I put on in the morning to go to work. I mean, it's not like I'm going out on a date. As long as most of the major body parts are covered and I don't smell like a homeless person, I figure I'm good to go.

So I was a little confused when Clean Laffs Joe threw a companionable arm around my shoulders as I was standing outside the break room the other day, and gave my 'on som' an up-and-down while wearing a stupid grin on his face.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I asked him.

"Our outfits," he said, indicating my long-sleeve red shirt, faded blue jeans and the sandals I like to wear around the office.

"I'm dressed exactly the same as you. All I'm missing are the gay sandals."

"Yep," I agreed. "That and a dick."

Obliviously,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn't leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old 'It's not you, I'm dead' approach." -Seth Meyers



The wife left a note on the fridge:

"It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold.

I wonder what the hell she is talking about?



"During a conference yesterday, Pope Francis spoke about birth control and said that Catholics don't have to breed like, quote, 'rabbits.' The Pope knew it was getting out of hand when he had to baptize babies with a hose." -Jimmy Fallon



"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said... "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now, tell me, what is to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.