Thursday, January 28, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Who is planning to watch the Academy Awards this year? Let me re-phrase that; who has ever watched the Academy Awards? I never have. Nobody I know ever has. Nobody I know gives the tiniest shit about the Academy Awards.

So why does this story about a bunch of actors boycotting the awards keep popping up all over the place? This has got to be the biggest non-story of the year so far.

The real issue, of course, is that there are no black actors nominated this year, and they think that's racist. But not everybody does. I heard one talking head on the radio say that if it's only fair that the Oscars should have more black actors, then it should be only fair that the NBA has more white players.

The problem with that thinking is that the awards are completely subjective.

The NBA is only concerned with two things; points and money. The more points you score as a player, and as a team, directly translates into how much money you and your franchise makes.

If the NBA could make as much money with a bunch of 5-foot-10 white guys as they do with a bunch of 7-foot black guys, I'm sure there would be more white players.

And let's be honest here, I have seen many Award-winning movies that were boring pieces of crap.

So I think the solution should be obvious. Instead of having a bunch of insiders, big-wigs, kiss-asses and millionaire aesthetes voting for Award-winners, let's tie them directly to the films' success.

If anything it will make the show a hell of a lot shorter.

And nobody will argue that's not a good thing.

Problem-solvingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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