Thursday, November 14, 2013Greetings Laff Lovers,
Today is payday (tomorrow, actually, but I get direct deposit so my money shows up early) and my check is already spent. That's what I get for having a wife and kids.
Anyway, Lewis and I were heading out to lunch earlier.
"Hey, do you have change for a hundred dollar bill?" I asked as we drove to the restaurant.
"I think I do," he said pulling a wad of bills out of his pocket. "Here," he said handing me five twenties.
"Great, thanks," I said pocketing the money. "I'll give you the hundred next week."
Interest-free-ly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S.
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"My God!" complained the wife to her husband, "I come home with a little cum in my hair and right away you jump to conclusions."
"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a cow."
I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. In my script it clearly said: "Enter Juliette from the rear."
A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs for breakfast? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?' He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'
At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?'
He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.'
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.
'Would you like a juicy steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?'
He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra... I'm still not hungry.'
'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm fucking starving!'