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Thursday, October 23, 2014Greetings Laff Lovers,
"As for eating and the male anatomy, you could stack some onion rings on that pole of his. Piece (Pun intended), -Deb
[Mmmm...if there is one food that puts me in the mood for sex it's onions.]
TZ, I know what food I would most like to have with your salami, and that's my hair pie. You're not allergic to clams, are you? Especially the bearded kind? -Katie
[No, I am not, but I am married. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't send me a much more detailed description of this fantasy of yours...and maybe a couple of pics.]
Figuratively,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives"Colorado police are worried that children on Halloween might mistakenly eat edible marijuana candies or baked goods. Does your kid ride a bike around and around in circles? Does he take naps in the middle of the day or think there's something or someone hiding under the bed? Does he sit in front of the TV all day? If your child exhibits any of that behavior, call the police immediately. You probably have a little stoner on your hands." -Jimmy Kimmel
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial.
After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"
"A new study has found that men who are vegan have a much lower sperm count compared to those that eat meat. Even worse, the few sperm vegan men do have refuse to go anywhere near an egg." -Conan O'Brien
A freelance photographer decided he wasn't making any money shooting scenic pictures for magazines like National Geographic, so he decided to change his style and shoot porn instead. He had a fabulous idea for a theme and was certain it would make him a big name in the business, but it would require a model he called 'a true blonde.' He began interviewing models, but none of them were quite what he was looking for.
After weeks of searching, he began to get depressed, thinking he'd never find the perfect model. He stopped in a coffee house and ordered some coffee... and that's when he saw her. The waitress was perfect! She had platinum blonde hair that fell below her shoulder blades, a gorgeous face and a body all men want and all women wish they had. Excitedly, he asked her if she'd ever done any nude posing before. She shrugged and said she hadn't, but for the right price, she would.
"I have only one question," he asked. "Are you a true blonde?"
"I've never, ever dyed my hair, if that's what you mean," she answered.
So he gave her his card and told her to meet him the next day at his studio. When she arrived, he told her to get undressed and step onto the stage he had set up. She undressed and he noticed that her pubic hair was black.
Frowning he said, "You said you were a true blonde! What a waste of my time this is."
She gestured to him sweetly and walked him over to his desk. She took his hand and sensually placed it palm down onto his desk, then suddenly grabbed a huge paperweight and slammed it onto his hand as hard as she could. When he cussed and screamed at her in agony she just smirked.
"Awe, look at that," she cooed, "it's turning black, and it was only banged once."