Sunday, November 29, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Ah, the post-Thanksgiving coma. I know Thanksgiving was three days ago, but I have been eating leftovers every day since.

My favorite combination so far is the turkey, stuffing and gravy sandwich. The trick is you have to use salt on the meat and make it with white bread.

Some people like to use soft bread, but I find the sandwich has greater structural integrity when the bread is toasted. Especially if you use lots of gravy...which I do.

The only drawback to the last three days has been the non-stop turkey farts.

I feel bad for my poor wife, but the belly wants what the belly wants.

Contentedly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?



If you wife or girlfriend ever asks, 'If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?'

Never give two names.



A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of her husband.

"But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the judge.

"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "It wasn't my fault. didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife!"



The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.

I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"