Thursday, June 17, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I need a vacation. I haven't needed a vacation this bad since
my old boss' ex-wife got pregnant and said I was the father.
Things were dicey for a long while until she had the baby and
he was an Eskimo.
Thankfully that cleared my good name and I was no longer known
as "back-stabbin, ex-wife-stealin', whore monger, TZ." I just
went back to being plain old "waste of fuckin' life, TZ."
That proves that bad times never last too long.
Optimistically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Instant Sliding Door Bug Screen... Less than 1/2 price...
List Price: $39.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99 (62% off)
The Instant Sliding Door Bug Screen mounts between door
jambs on a single door frame or sliding door frame; no tools
or expertise is needed. Using Velcro, it installs and
uninstalls in minutes, making it the ideal choice for your
home or for taking it with you on vacation.
Features a magnet to hold center closed.... keeping pesky
bugs and mosquitoes out and allowing the fresh air of the
outdoors in. Whenever you, your children, guests or pets
need to go in our out, just walk through the screen and it
will open right up, once you are through the center the
magnet will snap together, closing the screen behind you.
No more screens left open and no more slamming doors.
Can be used year-round, or temporarily, when and where you
need it, as the space saving design allows for easy storage.
Take it from door to door, to your vacation home, or store
it away at seasons end.
FEATURES:
- Instantly replaces broken or missing screen doors
- Keeps out Insects and other pests
- Easy Walk-Through design
- Affordable for every door in the house
- Comes in widths 36" ($14.99) and 48" ($19.99).
For more information:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1123/c/120/a/498
"China now holds more than $900 billion in U.S. debt and a
lot of Americans are worried about this. Who cares? We're
not going to pay them back anyway." -Jay Leno
The night before my bypass surgery, the doctor wanted me to
take a shower; which was fine with me, after three days of
using a basin and washcloth.
As I walked down the hall, I had a Nurse on either side. The
one asked, "Are you going to me able to manage OK?"
I said, "I feel weak and dizzy. Perhaps both of you would be
kind enough to get in the shower with me."
The little blonde nurse looked up and said, "Nice try."
Amazing Reunion Between Lion & Human - As Seen on The View
from Christian The Lion DVD... This will warm your heart!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3624/c/186/a/498
"Twitter went down for about an hour yesterday. So, for
about an hour, a lot of people with nothing to do had
absolutely nothing to do." -Jimmy Fallon
Arm Rest Organizer w/ Table-Top
Organize & Store All Your Favorite TV Accessories, & More...
List Price: $24.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99
Get Two for: $23.98
Organize your magazines, remote controls, eye glasses,
telephone and more with this handy Arm Rest Organizer.
This is a true family room organizer that stores all that
stuff that sits on your end tables in one convenient location.
Now you'll always know right where your cross-word puzzle is.
The Arm Rest Organizer also features a tray for a beverage or
a snack.
FEATURES:
- Fits over sofa arm for easy installation
- 6 large pockets
- Large Table-Top (18" x 7") surface perfect for snacks,
writing notes & more
- Adjustable design fits most arm rest on couches or chairs
- Color: Black
The Arm Rest Organizer features a durable black fabric. One
side of the organizer features two large pockets, while the
other side has one large pocket for magazines and three smaller
pockets for pens, glasses and remotes. The flat surface in the
center features a ridge around the edge to keep items from
sliding off, and makes a great snack or writing table.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1323/c/186/a/498
An older, very dignified gentleman went to his travel agent
and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his
lady friend. The travel agent said that all the ships were
booked up and reservations were very tight at that moment,
but that he would see what he could do.
A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he
could get them onto a three-day cruise. The gentleman was
disappointed that it was such a short cruise, but booked it,
and then went to the drugstore to buy Dramamines and three
condoms.
The next day, the agent called back and reported that he now
could upgrade him to a five-day cruise.
The gentleman said, "Great, I'll take it!" And he returned
to the same pharmacy to buy two more Dramamines and two more
condoms.
The following day, the travel agent called yet again, and
said he was delighted that he could offer them bookings on
an eight-day cruise.
The gentleman was elated and, went back to the drugstore.
He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said,
"Look, I'm not trying to pry, but if it makes you sick, why
do you keep doing it?"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14420/c/120/a/498