Monday, August 18, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I'm often accused of telling old jokes. That got me to wondering about what the oldest jokes in the world actually are. Here's my take on the two oldest jokes.

"Take my cavewoman, please."

And the second oldest joke in the world:

Two Jews walk into a cave...

Historically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one." --Anonymous



After a long-overdue checkup, my dentist sat down with me to go over all the work I would need on my mouth. Her total estimate was $9,200. I gasped. "For that kind of money, I could get a tummy tuck and silicone implants."

"But what about your smile?" she asked.

"If I had all that done," I told her, "I guarantee no one would be looking at my teeth."



"A man in New Zealand whose pregnant girlfriend threw a knife at him so hard that it became lodged in his skull told reporters he was confident their relationship would continue. I guess it's true what they say: Some people never learn because there's a knife lodged in their skull." -Seth Meyers



During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students, "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family, and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies, "Wait a minute, I'm going to take a piss."

The teacher says, "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Johnny replied, "Sorry, but I need to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says, "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."

So Charlie says, "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend whom I hope to be able to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher passed out.