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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

This morning my wife said to me, "Today's Cinco de Mayo."

"So?" I answered like I would have if she told me today was Arbor Day.

"So...Why don't you take me out tonight? You know how long it's been since you took me out? We could have margaritas!"

Now, I haven't been much of a drinker since the first time I knocked my wife up 20 years ago. I was drunk and forgot to wear a rubber. Ever since then I have steered away from anything more than an occasional beer at a cookout, just to be sociable. And I'm not about to start pounding 15 dollar margaritas now.

"I'll tell you what," I told her, "I'll bring dinner home early tonight so you don't have to cook. Then later we can lock ourselves in the bedroom and do it Mexican style."

She gave me her suspicious look, "What's Mexican style?"

"Well, have you ever heard Mexicans talk? They go at a mile-a-minute. And have you ever seen a crew of 'em layin' sod? They sweat like farm animals and never take a break. And that Chimichanga music they're always listening to? It sounds like a circus."

"What's your point, that it'll be fast, loud and sweaty?"

"Ci!"

"Hon," she said a little sympathetically, "you're usually fast, loud and sweaty."

"Huh! I never thought about it," I said. "I must be part Mexican."

Ethnically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his homosexuality from his parents, goes over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he lets out a big sigh and says, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

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Nervously, the guy said, "Uh, yeah, Mom, well I guess so."

His mother went back to stirring the pot. Suddenly, she whirled around and whacked him over the head with her spoon, saying, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"

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