Thursday, February 18, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I bought some spicy, roasted nuts over the weekend mistakenly thinking they were "salty" roasted nuts. I don't know what they had on them, cinnamon and cayenne or something, but to me they tasted terrible. There was nothing wrong with them, though, so being the generous guy I am I brought them into the office and announced that they were in the kitchen for whoever might want them.
About an hour later I passed Clean Laffs Joe who said, "Wow TZ, I know you said you had spicy nuts, but I didn't realize how spicy they were until I put them in my mouth!"
I stared at him for a couple seconds to see if he was being facetious, but his eager, watering eyes spoke only of a simple, somewhat pathetic need for validation.
With only the smallest pang of guilt I said, "Joe, your wife should have warned you about that."
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"Apparently some prostitutes at a Nevada brothel have launched a campaign for Hillary Clinton called 'Hookers for Hillary.' Yeah, they want to donate money to the Clintons - or as they call it, 'Giving back.'" -Jimmy Fallon
We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately.
It was raining hard and I couldn't play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours.
Seems like a nice person.
"Pennsylvania police say the Kappa Delta Rho fraternity at Penn State ran a private Facebook group for drug sales called 'Covert business transactions.' Which is like trying to hide your porn by putting it in a folder called 'People in states of undress.'" -Seth Meyers
Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.
Mom, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his Pants off, then Aunt Jane...
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, Johnny , this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time? I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight. At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story, I was at the Playground and I saw my Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a Big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.