Monday, March 1, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Thank God it's pay day. I have been broke for about a week.
But I have a plan. I'm going to take the five dollar bill I
found in the laundry yesterday morning, add it to whatever
change I can dig out of the ash tray in the truck, and invest
in a couple of lottery tickets. This is what I like to call
sound financial planning.
Responsibly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Microfiber Pet Drying Mitts
Never Struggle To Dry Your Wet Pet Again...
Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99
Get two for: $11.98
The Microfiber material is great for absorbing more dirt,
oil and water than other types of gloves. Absorbs up to
five times its weight. Naturally attracts and holds loose
hair and dander. Great to keep multiples on hand.
Just slip them on and pet your wet pet and dry them instantly.
Great after bath, walks in the rain... anytime!
Keep one handy in the home, car, boat, camper or anywhere
dogs will track in dirt.
FEATURES:
- Includes 2 Drying Mitts (Length 11", Width 8")
- Made of washable poly/nylon microfiber fabric.
- Absorbing up to five (5) times it's Weight in Water!
- Has sewn in finger slots to aid in gripping & massaging.
- One size fits all.
- Machine Wash; Tumble Dry
Grab a pair of Pet Drying Mitts for $7.99 or save an additional
$4.00 and get two pairs for $11.98.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2443/c/120/a/498
"The Olympics just had the women's figure skating finale.
The audience was primarily made up of women and perverts.
I did not watch it." -Jimmy Kimmel
There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"
Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"
First old man, "What do you mean you THINK she may be dead?"
Second old man, "Well... the sex is the same but the dishes
are starting to pile up."
Like The Snuggie...BUT 1/2 The Price...
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2449/c/186/a/498
"People in L.A. don't eat cereal, because they don't like
sugar because it's bad for you. It's OK to inject botulism
into your face, but not to eat sugar!" -Craig Ferguson
TIRED NO MORE...
Store Price: $24.99
INTRODUCTORY PRICE: $2.99
"Studies show Ginseng is effective in treating
circulation problems, fatigue, lack of energy,
stress and anxiety."
Throughout ancient history, Ginseng has been praised for its
exceptional nutrition value. Modern nutrition researchers
also regard Ginseng as a valuable herb because of its naturally-
proportioned wealth of vitamins, minerals, enzymes, & co-enzymes.
We're SO SURE that our "Ginseng Energy" will help you, we're
practically giving it away. For a fraction of the store
price you can get 60 pills to see for yourself what the
'miracle of Ginseng' can do for you. Grab a bottle by visiting
(Sorry there is a limit of five (5) bottles per order):
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3292/c/120/a/498
ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but
not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money,
time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
you don't especially like in the present and will learn to
like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.
PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin
until married.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate
to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised
to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in
the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due
to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is in-
terpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets
him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a
few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to
be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex
more often than he does.
FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less
often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than
lifting her nightgown.
SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall
in love.
NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more from her life
with him than just intercourse.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...
1. Marine Silent Marching
http://c.gophercentral.com/rO13
2. Man's Best Friend
http://c.gophercentral.com/2TYQ
3. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
http://c.gophercentral.com/49A3
4. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
http://c.gophercentral.com/iZUQ
5. The Muppets
http://c.gophercentral.com/sVqB
6. The Stones
http://c.gophercentral.com/XLr8