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Thursday, December 3, 2015
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Magilla asked me to sit in on a meeting with a guy that was pitching him some kind of new media. Whenever I'm in one of those meetings I do a lot of listening and try to come up with creative ways to incorporate and maximize the idea being pitched...OK, you got me, I actually just sit there trying not to sit on my balls.
Anyway, this guy was going on and on and on so much that I blanked out and started wondering what ever happened the the people that lived near the Fukushima nuclear plant that melted down back in 2011. Did the women grow three tits like the hooker in that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?
I was snapped out of my reverie when I saw Magilla calmly open his drawer and pull out a paper plate taped to a stick with STFU written on it in bold letters.
He may be lacking in the social graces, but I'll say this much about the guy; he knows how to move things along.
Needless to say, the tone of the meeting changed after that.
Quietly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.com
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"Paul Ryan is the first speaker of the house to have any facial hair since Republican Frederick Jillette, who led the house from 1919 until 1925! Now incidentally, Paul Ryan is also the first politician in 100 years to have a beard that isn't his wife." -James Corden
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman sitting next to him started to breastfeed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
Finally the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid, make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
"Google has found that Ouija boards are one of this year's most popular toys. You know, because it wasn't bad enough dealing with your LIVING relatives." -Jimmy Fallon
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and rolled it over her index and middle fingers. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. Then she said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was putting it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. "Well, come on," she said, "We don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a couple minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did," and held up my two fingers to show her.
She fainted.