Monday, April 14, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I saw an old friend this weekend and he was a bit distraught. It seems his wife of ten years, the mother of his two children, is having lesbian fantasies of late. Folks, this is a true story.

Of course when he first told me this I jumped in with every lesbian joke I could think of. But when he just stared at the ground without laughing I shifted into concerned friend mode and paid attention to his pain.

He proceeded to tell me how his role had diminished since he agreed to stay home with the kids, while Butch, his wife, went to work and came home with the bacon.

I was fine until he wanted to tell me about the dreams she's been having.

"No! I don't want to know!" I protested as he gushed all of his "my wife is a new lesbian and these are her fantasies" stuff on me.

Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised with myself that I didn't want to know. I mean, come on, we all know what two groups of people really dig lesbians: All guys, and all lesbians.

And genius me, at all of the dinners my wife and I shared with them, while I was quietly confident that Butch was attracted to me, she was probably scoping out my wife.

I feel for my friend, because as a man I'm not sure how one recovers from causing ones wife to go lesbo. I mean what do they have that we don't? OK, a vagina, but what does that do? It just kind of sits there.

Huh, lesbians.

Masculinely,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"This is some advice for the older men that have let standards slip. It is never acceptable to answer the phone when love-making, even if you hilariously pick up by saying, 'I can't talk right now I'm going into a tunnel.'" -Jimmy Carr



An Indian brave asks a young Indian maid for sex in exchange for a bushel of corn.

She says, "No, $5."

He says, "How about two bushels of corn?"

She says, "Okay," and disrobes and lies on her stomach.

He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Front hole, money hole; back hole, corn hole."



"If you ever read about sex on the Internet you'll see myths. Stuff that just isn't true; the best lubricant for anal sex is not tears...it's blood." -Jimmy Carr



A fellow tees off, and slices terribly. He sees the ball fly past a stand of trees and then hears a shriek. He runs over and finds a woman knocked out cold.

The man runs back to the clubhouse and shouts, "Is there a doctor here?"

"I'm a doctor," another man says, rising. "What's the trouble?"

"I just hit a woman with a golf ball out there and she's unconscious!"

"Well where did you hit her?" the doctor asks.

"Between the first and second holes."

"Oh my," the doctor says, shaking his head. "That doesn't leave much room for stitches!"