Thursday, February 7, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I have to hand it to my wife. She really puts up well with my eccentricities. Like the other morning for example; I had just gotten out of the shower when I discovered that once again one of my considerate daughters had used my towel and left it wet on the towel rack.

Standing there naked, trying to dry myself with a wet towel, I saw my wife's hair dryer.

A couple minutes later she walked into the bathroom to see me standing there naked, with one leg up on the toilet seat, blow-drying my pubes (I had just finished my armpits).

"Just what in the hell do you think you are doing?" she asked.

Since she asked me one of those questions with a completely obvious answer she practically forced me to be a smart-ass, so I said, "Heating up your breakfast."

In hindsight that might not have been the best answer.

Regretfully,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



"A new study found out that having money and good looks does not make you happy. On the other hand, being broke and ugly is no day at the beach either." -Jay Leno



A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things."

The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'"

The first woman asked, "Did it help?"

Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."



I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why. She said, "Because I am trying to examine you!"



Dear Abby,

I have an oral sex etiquette question. While I love pleasing my lady, occasionally while in the middle of a "carpet munching" session a hair gets caught in the back of my throat. I think hacking up a hairball like a cat on speed at that special time might be considered poor taste. How can I take care of business and remove the offending piece of "wool" and keep the mood?

Sincerely, Munchy

Dear Munchy:

Preparation, preparation, preparation, my son, is the key to successful tongue lashing. Right after your lady buys you a really expensive present, cooks you a fine, fine meal and finishes mowing the lawn with the second-hand, push lawnmower you purchased for her on your last anniversary, simply hand her a razor and remind her that her "back 40" also needs a good clip. Remember, an "idle" woman is a devil in the making.

Abby