Thursday, February 9, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Unlike most people I actually read the spam I get in my email. Why? Because some of the most brilliant advertising copy produced today is being written by spam emailers. Following is my new personal favorite.


Subject: Ass rimming the easy way

Formerly Britain's top secret agent from
the 1960's, Austin Prowler had been cryo-
genetically frozen and is brought back in
1999 to save the world from the Evil Dr.
Pussy.


That is also now my new nick-name for my wife.

MI6-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here



"The House of Representatives has passed a bill that prohibits people from using welfare money in strip clubs or liquor stores. I agree with that. Strip clubs and liquor stores should be off limits for people who get government funds ? you know, like congressmen." -Jay Leno



A woman calls her lawyer and asks... "With all the lawsuits going on, I want to get in on some of that action. I hear people are suing cigarette companies because they got cancer and others are suing McDonalds because they got fat."

"And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

"Neither," says the women. "I just want to know if I can sue Budweiser for all the ugly men I've slept with."



"I read about a guy here in Indiana who built an exact replica of Lucas Oil Stadium, using 30,000 Legos. It's pretty cool. And this is even cooler: He had enough Legos leftover to build himself a girlfriend." -Jimmy Fallon



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel Owner. The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town now thinks that they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.

And that, my friends, is how a "stimulus package" works!