Thursday, July 22, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
"You know," I said reaching over and giving my wife a caress
after she handed me a shirt she bought for me for no reason,
"we're such a good fit."
"How so?" she asked.
"Well, you're extremely thoughtful, and me? Well, I really
like getting stuff. It works out so well!" Then I went into
my Forest Gump voice, "We's like peas 'n carrots."
She said, "I think remember what it felt like to get gifts...
I seem to recall feeling special and appreciated."
"Oh, you kidder! Come hear and give me a kiss."
"Yeah, that's about all I ever get: A peck on the cheek and
three minutes of you on top of me acting like you're in a
porno."
"Yeah," I said well pleased with myself and rubbing my finger
nails on my chest. "And I can make it up to four minutes if
I think about golf or your mother. You're a lucky gal."
She's-got-it-so-goodly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Economists say that a college degree may not be necessary
to succeed in life. I didn't have a degree and here I am.
Seriously, kids, go to college." -Craig Ferguson
When my new wife complained to me about my penis being too
small, I replied, "If you park a 747 in the bottom of the
Grand Canyon, doesn't it seem small?"
She never said anything again.
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There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices
after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the
woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the
nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the
bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus
to bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral
sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the
nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around
the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room
screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted
to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, up-
set that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be
threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save,
asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure," said the husband, "but I think she choked!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com